Couples Therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy

Our therapists work from a couples counseling approach, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), which helps couples to be more connected, secure, and happy in their relationship.  The primary goals of this therapy are to increase secure attachments between partners to allow for deep conversations and healing. Often, couples get caught in the same argument over and over or are disconnected and distant from each other. EFT gets right to the heart of the matter by helping couples have honest and vulnerable conversations. Research shows that EFT moves couples from distress to recovery in 70-75% of cases, and 90% of couples significantly improved.

The result of our couples therapy approach is that partners feel safe together, they feel important to each other, there is more flexibility in problem solving, communication increases, and there is a feeling of security. The same old fight is finally changed into a new way of talking. The walls that kept you away from each other crumble away and those feelings that brought you together rebuild and grow. Dr. Johnson developed EFT in the 1980’s. Over the past 30 years many research studies have proven EFT work for those seeking counseling.

Couples Intensives

Private Intensives follow similar formatting of Hold Me Tight Retreats but it is limited to you and your partner.

You will work with 2 therapists on patterns that have the relationship feeling stuck, disconnected, or in a rut.

Intensives are great options for couples that need to jump start their healing or feel stuck in traditional couples therapy.

The Hold Me Tight® retreat teaches seven different conversations designed to help couples learn how to move away from negative patterns of conflict, to increase their emotional responsiveness to one another, to forgive old wounds, and to rekindle their desire and affection. The program uses Susan Johnson's book Hold Me Tight®, videos of Sue working with couples, and interactive experiences that help a couple begin to recognize the defining moments of their relationship and build new connections. All experiential, interactive work is done privately between the partners, followed by group discussion. No one is required to share any personal experiences with the group.

The seven conversations through which you will be guided are designed to increase the experience of emotional responsiveness, that sense of safety and closeness that answers three key needs:

1. Accessibility:    Can I reach you?  Do you hear what I need?

2. Responsiveness:    Can I rely on you to respond to me emotionally?

3. Engagement:    Do I know that you will value me and stay close?

These key questions are buried, hidden just under the surface in most of our recurring arguments about issues such as chores, personality differences, sex, kids, and money. If partners feel safe and loved, they can deal with differences and problems together.  If not, then relationship issues and fears get channeled into endless disagreements around practical issues of every day life.

The Hold Me Tight® Retreat:

• Lets you learn as a group but practice privately as couples.  Licensed therapists guide you as you build these key relational bonds.

• Gives you three days of steady learning and practice to get you headed in the right direction.

• Builds on the Hold Me Tight® book, which you will receive and will use as a reference afterward, as you practice and reinforce what you’ve learned.

• Connects you with a licensed therapist assigned to each couple and will be available for follow up session (if desired)

How to Know If the Retreat is Right for Your Relationship

This program is designed to assist you in understanding your relationship and enhancing the quality of your connection.

It is an excellent options for those who:

• Are in a committed relationship but want to strengthen it and establish a more solid foundation.

• Are in a committed relationship but feel that the bonds have faded over time

• Are in a committed relationship but have been feeling detached or that the level of  

           conflict has increased

• Want to improve their understanding of negative patterns that decrease their connection

• Have minor relationship traumas/injuries that want to be repaired.

Participants will walk away with:

• A deeper connection to their partner

• A deeper understanding of attachment history and the impact of attachment on current relationship

• Ability to recognize negative patterns that lead to disconnection

• Skills to stop negative patterns  and skills to communicate more effectively

• Identification of preventative patterns to remain connected during stressors

• Ability to repair with your partner when there is trigger or disconnection

• Increased intimacy (physical, mental, and emotional)

This program is not suitable for those where:

• There is an obvious lack of commitment to the growth of the relationship by one partner

• There is evidence of extensive and/or long-standing relationship distress in the

            relationship such that a couple would be better served by seeking out a couple therapist

             rather than engaging in an educational program

• There is ongoing addiction that impacts the relationship

• There is ongoing infidelity 

• There is evidence of significant physical (hitting, slapping, use of implements to hurt or

           intimidate) or emotional (frequent hostile name calling, to the point where one person

           expresses fear of the other) abuse in the relationship

•  There is evidence of a history of significant mental health problems in either partner that

            would preclude productive engagement in the group experience

This retreat is facilitated by Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists that have advanced training in Emotionally Focused Therapy. Each couple will be assigned a licensed therapist to work with through out the entire weekend.